Friday, June 22, 2007
morning peeps..
6.22am when i blogged this..ok fine i mean blogging this..
i just woke up because of some annoying flu and ended up thinking lots when trying to sleep back at around 5.40am..
i kinda think i'm nuts..blogging this at around this time..
this is why i hate to sleep in my room alone, yup! you're right! my stepdad crash in last night..oh boy! and they are back at 3am, thats when i shifted room.
(i know its kinda wasted alvin.. all the times we could have spent together)
and yup!
bingo! you're damn right again! as i've mentioned, i've think lots, hell it means you baby..
gosh! and you know what i did..i'm still thinking about those hell 3 pictures.
argh! hard to get it off my mind, i so wanna see you again, so all those nasty images can shooooo!
so guess what.. woke up with my tissues(alright, by the way i kept sneezing), on my monitor, typed your stupid blog's name, alright ex-blog's address and poof!
went nuts about those posts again...
i mean why would i still wanna "gather informations" about those posts, it is just weird reading my boyfriend's blog posting those posts you will never wanna read..
i mean he's is like MY BOYFRIEND already, why would i wanna upset myself. yeap yeap..i know i'm comparing like the things we're doing together.. but i spent my almost entire half a year with him..why would i wanna compare still...aren't i satisfied? I'M FUCKING AM! and why i still looking backwards! and hell! thats like 2 years ago lor..fuck it!
then looking back down my wounded wrists, stupid it is, and it kinda like will never stop..my eyes are swollen, from all those cryings, "sleepless" night like this...when will i get back on track and be myself.. thats why i hate holidays.. infact i love school now..
yes.. the reason is him..studying in the same bloody campus is what always think that has made my day..
and annoying people by talking about him all day.. can't help but saying that i've never felt like this people for anybody else..
yes.. i know him for just a short period of time, people have no confidence or simply saying, thinking that my love for him will just fade away within 3 months...but hahaha! its coming to half a year, and my love is gradually increasing! fuck all the downs and remember the ups...without the downs, i'll never learn how ugly i was or maybe am.
i'm glad to say we are still caught in this love web with each other and will keep holding on..
*yawn* i'm tired but can't sleep..
sometimes..
i think blogging really helps..
it soothes me alot, like i just keep typing whatever i hide inside and just let it out now..makes me felt really relieved..
okok! i've got the word!
yes its being insecure..but what for.. haha..its 2 years back..and that day that year.. i was in somebody else's arms..sounds wrong but its true..
i've got so many relationships that i can't handle and letting them all go..when i myself hurt myself, till i stitched my heart countless times..until i guess my heart will just stop one day..
but without those, i will never be who am i today, stronger.....(well..sometimes not, with that jelly heart of mine)
but YOU YOU YOU!! and THEM THEM THEM! my alvin, my jessie, my butterfly(cc thats you!haha), my yukiko(sher thats obviously you) and via via.. made me..maybe me and my besties don't meet all them time..and kinda lost hanging out but still..i guess they really made me who i am today..
and i have my two sluts who happen to make my day yesterday..
and my prince, strawberry jam, pumpkin soup, ah pit! to make my entire night.. that just 20 mins just made my heart leapt! like seriously..
and love.. that hairstyle! two thumbs up! as always! you look just like a "hell yeah" hot rocker! no no no..no.. its not just 100% image..its 100% YOU!
and yup..
i've made myself happy, and "ridiculously"(if this word exists..)i've stayed up from 5.45 till now, 6.53am thinking..typing and oh well..i'm still gonna stay up till the rest of the day..
i just hate it when i can't sleep..cos i can't sleep back!!
well..i better end this..with lyrics from the song from avril..
WHEN YOU'RE GONE
I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
[Chorus]
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you
I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do
When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
[Chorus]
We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah
[Chorus]
Baby alvie.. i just can't live without you afterall..
this is so strange
6/22/2007 06:21:00 am
