Tuesday, October 23, 2007
i don't know what happen...
maybe he is sick and tired of me already, i no longer feel as loved as before.
something has indeed changed.
he gets frustrated easily because of me, whatever i do, its always wrong.
he always think i kaobeikaobu.
i don't know what he wanna do to me, he wants to change me, and love the other me.
he can't accept me anymore.
i remember how much he likes me to say the japanese phrase...
but once i talk about japanese.. he always tell me, "don't give me that japanese shit"
what happen???
always when i think negatively, i will have to tell myself, whatever he do, he cares for me, he want me to be a better person...
i guess no more...
its just no longer like that anymore.. i feel so...
things he do b4, he don't do it anymore..
i can't find a perfection in myself, but he wants me too..
he finds me a rather bad person, how long can i go under his harsh treatments..
sad to say, i really don't know...
i've learnt to be strong though.. i did.. no longer will i shed anymore tears
i really did my best to make him happy, i just felt that getting love from him is hardship.
little things can make him feel happy in the past, but now probably no more...
this is so strange
10/23/2007 09:25:00 am
Sunday, September 23, 2007
noone actually plan my birthday for me except for Alvin.
Seriously no one..
i have to do it all by myself, and i have to wait for replies, confirmations, and some even ignore my sms. i know i'm not that important, but at least give me a reply, if really can't make it, just tell me..
aiya maybe my birthday is just another day la..
thanks baby for the plannings, though i don't know what is it, but i really appreciate everything you've done.
this is so strange
9/23/2007 08:54:00 pm
Saturday, September 22, 2007
oh well...my birthday is just another day,
sometimes i wonder whether people will ever cry if i die..
guess i'm not that important in their life..
29th September is just another day.
i'm happy to have vin by my side on that very day already
=)
this is so strange
9/22/2007 02:33:00 pm
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Was late to class today, and yup, the same old fish tank, same old cold room, unknown cold people and people i dislike.
It might be a retribution thats why nobody talk to me, call me or ask me out for lunch. Once i ask them for lunch, either they aren't free or they have eaten, so i'll just go cheers or something to get some bao or something like that.
Yes, people did ask me to go have lunch with them, but you know, there's someone in there that i dislike.
I tried sketching to kill my time, and its also for my project, but you know how sketching can take. It always take about 10-20 mins to sketch, so its damn fast, then i end up with nothing to do. oh well..take a walk by myself sometimes. Its always hard to get someone to talk to me online, so there will always be the usual people to talk to, anthony, meow, leon and sometimes jess..but yup of course, there will always be not much reply here and there, cos they are all busy.
Then, to kill time, rent some movies, download movies or anime to watch, online manga and so on to kill my time everyday.. seriously, its kinda like wasting my time.
Tom and TF always seem so busy using MAYA to model the games and stuff, i wanna be like them, have more contribution, at least not using SIMS, but something 3D that can be done using programs like autocad, maya and so on.. but you know how school's system can be, they ban almost everything, therefore, modelling in "second life" seems distant to me.( though i'm really excited)
I feel like doing a survey, but you know lazy people in Singapore will never lay their pen on such surveys that do no help to them.
Jiangling seems so busy with her BITC, no no no not bitch..haha its some overseas project or something like that, i can't really talk to her somehow. She won't really reply, just like jess and cc do.
Sometimes i really think its kharma or retribution that i don't have great friends, it may seems i'm always happy and people always think i have alot of friends, but today i realise... that somehow.. nobody is really there for me..
sad to say...
giving will only lead to people making use of you....
and taking will only lead to people dispising you... sad but true.. maybe in my own ways..it does sound true.
i'm really glad i still have mum, dad and alvin. or else.. haha...von will crumble and die..
yes yes yes.. there are still lots of people who are kinda like temporary there for me.. but next thing i know.. byebye! sorry you are on your own, i'm busy..
haiz..
same thing always happen..
i hate to be alone.. its kinda like i've be alone for my entire 19 years, deceiving that one day, i will really have someone that will pick me up and say you are one big important friend to me. but hell no! haven't heard of that..so yup..
i'm kinda ill-fated..
hope that tomorrow will not be as boring or as lonely as today.. well..8 hours of torture.. what else..
meow and ant told me its really relax..nothing stress about FYPJ, but come on.. i'm stuck with people i don't like and...
what else.. people i don't know..
they have their own friends own life..
yes i have my life too.. too bad my friends aren't there..cos they too have their life.. so..
i'm all alone..i should really step out of my comfort zone..
always needing people for companionship, maybe i should be like jess or alvin, go try and walk around places myself. Maybe it helps to boost independency. They can do it, why can't i? i should really be independent in this way, try to do things alone sometimes, do things that i wanna do, i've done it before, why not again! haha..
i think i'm really nuts now, should go get some sleep, wear new shirt tomorrow, and make myself happy.
enjoy your touhua my dear=)
nights.. i love you
this is so strange
9/12/2007 10:50:00 pm
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Picking up guitar again but Ken wasn't free yesterday, can't wait to learn some songs!
had dinner with b, and it was great to see him after not seeing him on sunday. Hmm.. guess i really miss him huh.
Supervisors are not really impressed or let say " happy" with our work, maybe we kinda misunderstood the purpose and what they want us to do.
So we'll be busy soon, sketching, modelling, sketching, lots to do!=(
but oh well, its rather fun..i didn't go for napfa, cos' my body's aching, really aching, probably because of saturday, pictures posting up soon=)
i really miss him, but i don't know about him..
this is so strange
9/11/2007 05:31:00 pm
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Morning was alright, late to school, and haha saw this girl wearing little miss late!
hahaha so funny!
got some little miss and mr men tees with Jessica for our blogshop=)
and had lunch together! aww love you bestie!=)
got back to stone at the computer screen again..
argh!
then changed for napfa training!
i haven't run for ages la.. only after vehicles haha..
and alvin..hahaha..
i can't run for nuts..
do all the stupid things and chat a little with lianglin
funny girl la she..
haha=)
gotta hand up our ideas tomorrow=)
and i start to dislike that indian bitch more and more..
she think she's so great but she's just a fat bimbo..
as i've said that in polytechnic, people are just making of each other to get good grades, but not all the time, you are just getting some from us, why don't you get your crap from some other trash, because i don't like to share!
if you think whatever you are doing and whatever you are saying is what people have to accept and everything, then ask yourself why people avoid being your friend...
this is so strange
9/04/2007 08:29:00 pm
Sunday, September 02, 2007
Today i'm gonna get to work and to TOMOE japanese cuisine!!
Celebrating Sherlynn's belated birthday!!
i miss her! =)
For Thursday and Yesterday's date with Alvin! I'll post up photos soon=)
oh oh and for Gin's birthday=)
this is so strange
9/02/2007 10:08:00 am
Muffins!!
haha
We made muffins!! Blueberry ones!! with dark chocolate in the middle or bananas on top
Hungry?????
haha ooops that corner!!! i took some for testing!!!haha aww man baby! thats so unglam!!!
haha!!!!!!
this is so strange
9/02/2007 10:05:00 am
This are my masterpieces i've made last week and this week!=)
and i've sold the second one, Frame the Star.
From top, its called Surround the sea, 2nd is Frame the Star and the 3rd is Sunset.
From top, its called Surround the sea, 2nd is Frame the Star and the 3rd is Sunset.
More to come!!!
this is so strange
9/02/2007 09:47:00 am
