Monday, April 30, 2007
i cannot find a way to describe this
its there inside
all i do is hide
i wish that it would just go away
what would you do;you do if you knew, what would you do
all the pain i thought i knew
all the thoughts lead back to you
back to what was never said
back and forth inside my head
i can't handle this confusion
i'm unable, come and take me away
i feel like i am all alone
all by myself
i need to get around this
my words are cold
i don't want them to hurt you
if i show you
i don't think you'd understand
'cause no one understands
-take me away by avril-
i guess things would be better without me; life would be the same without me, if i would to never exist in this world,life could be better for you.
this is not a suicide letter nor a way to say goodbye, just to let you know how i feel about myself.i lost my trusts and friends through my selfishness.i changed myself to be better and hope you realise that.
you swept my feet off the ground sometimes,and bring me back down to the ground as well.sometimes i just don't know what i've done wrong to make you frustrated or upset. Maybe its the way; the way i speak. Till now, i guess i've got no acceptance from anybody. Guess that i'm still alone, though i fought my way through.
you might think that things are pretty simple, things just have to go your way. But things just never change but got worse after that big fight we had. i've been filling up your little bottle, probably you couldn't see.
i'm ready for a change for the better....
this is so strange
4/30/2007 10:13:00 am
Friday, April 27, 2007
Friday..the last day of the week..
was really busy for the entire week.
Party for mum for consecutive 2 days, wednesday was for mum and cheesiang(my cousin).Thursday night for mum.
We went to pumproom yesterday, was really fun; dad, mum, alvin, qien,khim,buck,doris,martin(late),this indian guy(whoever he is) and meijun.
And guess what!! this two thai guys actually wanna dance with us! and they thought we are all from the same school!(for your info, my mum is 40 years old, and people thought she is of my age, does that mean i look old?!?)
And one big thing, my dad swayed with my mum, hand-on-waist kinda thing, doris and martin too..but not me and alvin!! haha!! baby you can actually dance man!!! you had fun didn't you!
Well one thing sucked!
well which is morning issue, which is my personal issue..preferably not shared down here. But i guess mum was really upset about me.I disappointed her like completely..
Man! I love my mummy!!
Sad day huh.. But thanks to veronica!! you took everything away! i love you! this pretty girl dark hair with red streaks! You rock!
well you too lil alvie!
this is so strange
4/27/2007 04:46:00 pm
Monday, April 16, 2007
new day of school..new classmates..new troubles..
monday blues..
lecturer commenting my hair..say that it looks like a wig..
and everybody laughing at me..
this is call goth..punk..emo!!!!you guys don't know style and this is what i like..so why don't you all f*** off
i got really pissed..
lots of my classmates don't like me i guess..the way i talk..the way i dress...maybe its like a laughing stock...i hate my life like this..
i hate school...i hate you!
this is so strange
4/16/2007 07:48:00 pm
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
neglected my blog somehow from the starting of the month till now..
tomorrow is the day i've been looking forward for so long to.. i'm so happy that you know.. i can actually be with him kinda thing.
the first time in my life i stay out with my friends in a chalet..so happy..
tomorrow will the 12th of april, which is also the 3rd month since our 1st date.
i'm so excited! will be out purchasing the stuff and everything!
ha! and alvin will be going to his class chalet later! i guess he will enjoy lots huh.
=)
oh ya isk!!! i'm the band manager for century of romance!! and lets start jamming soon!! i can't wait to end this holiday and meet you in school!! ahhhh~haha!
this is so strange
4/11/2007 11:18:00 am
